Reflections on Survival Versus Choice
Plus: Invitation to Possibilities Club on April 26th at IMASALA Collective
“We can [give ourselves permission to] move forward not just out of survival, but through believing in ourselves and letting life surprise us. It is also a privilege to share when we have access to choice…something that our ancestors often did not often have.”
- Laura Kaur
Happy Friday, and welcome to all who may be new to Tomatokind!
Whether we met through the Recess community, Alt Summit, MITRE, the dog park, Entreprenista network, or another gathering place, I am happy you are here.
If we have yet to meet in-person, I would love to see you at the Possibilities Club pop-up on April 26th at IMASALA Collective!
Today, I write to you from beautiful Downtown Oakland, California; specifically, from “the modern-day public square” that is Kinfolx.
Surrounded by the calls of pastry orders behind the coffee bar and the color of vibrant shelves adorned with Mother Tongue beans perched between art prints and industrial piping, I am co-working with the imaginative Sapna (Creative Director of Crafts by Sap). Cue her pretty planner (with Magic Marker art flying off every page), my illegible notes, and our twinning lattes.
Earlier this morning, we had the privilege of joining Creative Mornings at Mama Dog Studios for an enlivening talk featuring guest speaker Lara Kaur. Lara is an evocative photographer whose art focuses on the histories of people and communities whose narratives have been mistold or erased.
The global theme of the month was “Crossroads,” and Lara shared the history of her family and particularly generations of women whose lives (driven by the necessity to survive war, poverty, and oppression) paved the way for her existence and ultimate ability to decide how to live her life. Trained as an educator and social worker, Lara spent many years pursuing a full-time career in education alongside a passion for photography. However, pouring everything into these simultaneous paths became unsustainable; on top of this, she experienced all-consuming forces of abuse, loss, and grief in her personal life, which pulled her even further away from herself.
So, six months ago, she stood at a crossroads - burned out and broken. She asked herself: “...What are the doors I am not opening?”, “...Am I living someone else’s life?” “...Why do I bet on so many other people, but never on myself?”
After multiple years of rumination, in fall of 2023, Lara finally told her manager at work that she would quit her job to pursue photography full-time…but not until fall 2024. In essence, she gave herself a year to make the transition and what ended up to be a somewhat comical year-long “two-week-notice” to her full-time employer.
“I needed that for myself…to prepare,” she confided.
Then, right on schedule (and despite her fears that she would be unable to support herself or that she would eventually resent her art), she quit her education career to pursue the creation of her mission-focused photography studio and visual storytelling brand LKP.
In sharing this story, Lara did not leave out the dark times, the desperate moments, the doubts, and the disappointments. Rather, she shared all of these moments as part of a full, rich, and scary journey. At its core? A huge sense of possibility and trust.
“I can’t believe I get to do this,” she shares, glowing.
And, when I looked around at folks sitting next to me, behind me, and across the aisle, it felt as if that glow was ever present: a communal sense of believing in others and believing in ourselves.
And, this optimism…this possibility…is one of the most precious feelings I have experienced since leaning into the creative entrepreneurs community (and since taking my own writing and passion for storytelling seriously).
So, as you head into the weekend, I’d love to pass on this feeling to you and all you may have in store for your weekend/ week/ month/ year - whether it be rest or active pursuit of something you feel strongly about.
And, if you’d like to do some of that exploring with other like-minded folks, please consider joining us at the launch of Possibilities Club on April 26th. See you there!
Last but not least, for those who have generously supported the publication with a paid subscription, thank you! We are launching some exclusive community features soon (so, stay tuned!)
That’s it for now…happy community gathering!